Dealing with Ambiguity

Well, my time in NJ is coming to a close. Cheley reunion time is just around the corner, and then it's off to Nepal a week from Tuesday. I am seriously grateful for the time that I've been granted these last two weeks - a real blessing of rest and restoration. I feel, in many ways, very unmotivated right now. I can't seem to do more than go on long runs, eat, sleep, occasionally visit/talk with a good friend or two, and read a good book or eight. It's a funny balance between getting peace in your heart and feeling slothful.

With Nepal around the corner, life seems to take some sort of imminent form, with obligations and such, but my boundaries concerning my personal world are seeming to crumble as I move (or retreat) with time from the L'ville world of black, white, and just enough gray to pretend to not be a bubble for teenagers.

Perry is home for the weekend, and Dad took the three of us to "The Departed" after a quick stint through a darling gaggle of (gasp!) Stephens juniors and random pizza joint. As she struggles with decisions regarding college, I am looking back with great frustration on the poor behalf of all high school seniors. Poor kids. There is nothing you can do! You're stuck in this terrible trap of pressure, confusion, and no sleep. Unless you're LeBron. He got off easy, I suppose. The whole college process needs to reinvent itself in the name of sanity, physical health (no joke), and integrity.

I've been into NYC three times this last week - saw Rent, visited Hard Rock (such a tourist trap), saw Bennett and Thomas (who is really no Tom), and heard Marcus Borg lecture at Union Seminary with Mother. Hearing speakers like Borg always reaffirm the fact that I am glad to be, and honestly am a Christian. It is so easy to sideline my faith for an easier form of televangelistic self-centered worship, and make it a cookie cutter saved situation. But in the great tradition of handling an intellectual faith, scholars like Borg, McLaren; thinkers like Don Miller - all ground me in what my heart and mind agree is most certainly Truth. I need to investigate this "Jesus Seminar" more thoroughly. I love New York. A million things to do, and a hundred million identities to choose from.

Where I am GOING. Everywhere, nowhere.