Saturday, August 12, 2006

Home Sings Me of Sweet Things...

I'm home!! Well, technically, I'm up in Vermont, but home all the same. How grateful I am to be here... New Jersey was overwhelming with all the people, cell phones, traffic, and general noise noise noise noise! As the grinch would say. I feel much better in Wilmington - a smoother transition from the serene isolation that Cheley offered so freely. What a month I had! Horses, friendships, mountains, altitude... my eyes close to remember the wilderness and people. I miss everything already.

Leland and Dad ended up surprising me and Perry at camp on Friday! I didn't get to see them until Saturday's horse show/recognition night, but was so thrilled when I saw Dad walking over the dining hall nonchalantly as I returned from the riflery tournament. I gave him and Nene long hugs - I must admit that I was fairly homesick for a good chunk of Cheley - not so much becaues of where I was or who was around me, but because of all the changes I've dealt with (graduation, CILT'ing, lots of travel) lately. It was awesome to see them. Leland has never been out to Estes, in all 8 years I've known the camp, and having him talking to my friends and enjoying the beloved mountains was something I've wanted for a very long time.

I spent most of the four weeks participating in the riding program (Western) with Melanie, Gwyn, and Jess Feltner. Learning the skills and details of the animals, I was very pleased to have a new branch of Cheley unfold before my clumsy hands. Everything was new, slightly dangerous (at least to me), and an adventure. We rode up and down mountains, around the rings, and back and forth from the ol' barns. I touched a previously untouchable experience. I won't say that I'm cut out for it, like I am for the mountains and my feet, but I will say that it was beautiful. When Dad and Leland showed up, I had to participate in RP drill, and I had an enormous fear that I was going to fall off of my horse, Dreamer. We walked and trotted ( I had to canter because Dreamer can be such a fatty) to music from Alexander, lowering the flag raised at the beginning of the show. I didn't fall, but Le kept whistling inappropriately during the drill, so I still got to blush from embarrassment.

Recognition night was really beautiful - I received my spurs, and key ceremony was lovely per usual. Angela did a great job. Many incredible women were there that night. I get shudders (the good kind) when I think about the people and atmosphere that day. I gave a "What Camp Means to Me" speech at Chapel the next morning (or afternoon - it was a LONG service), and caught up with many old campers that had not returned - Bigley, Zellner, the Stafford Sisters, Taylor B, on and on. I had many old men stop me to tell me they had cried during my speech. I didn't know what to say - it was a little awkward, but definitely touching. Banquet was gorgeous, and the counselors were so cute as they served us food and drinks. I sat with one other CILT and some campers. I cried when some little 10-year-olds

I showed them the Circle Peaks hike I did with Senior and Perry described the many ranges she had walked across. Leland was incredibly receptive to the park, and I think (hope) we will work there together in two summers. How can I explain my weeks in words? I feel drained from all of the gentle and wrenching farewells I've endured so recently. I may be a bit grouchy being home - my awareness of cell phones and internet, music and roads is heightened, and I feel a bit cynical regarding nature and the crowding world of humans on it.

We barely made our flight after I left some luggage in Senior, and Dad retrieved it while Nene, Per, and I tried not to sleep next to Mary's Lake. Perry and I passed out while Dad bombed to Denver in the rental car. So long Colorado!

My faith in people and nature has been restored, and thus, my faith in the big man upstairs. If only it was so easy to acknowledge those things in New Jersey! I must try harder, listen harder, open my heart to God harder. The same God who created the Rockies is the same God who created the people of New Providence - a seemingly simple thought, but drives me crazy with its implications for my faith life and behavior. I move from a world of my heart to a world of my mind trying to be my heart.

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I am definitely still on Colorado time. Late nights, late mornings.

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