The Great White Hills

Location: Kathmandu, Nepal. Time: 4:17 pm

After two days of flight, layovers, and an unhappy neck, I am landed and touring the great country of Nepal. The plane legs were each interesting, especially our time in the Bahrainian airport. We landed with the inklings of a sunrise over great mountains from a dream.

There are 10 of us here, from 18 to 65, and each looking for our own adventure. I wonder how the group will function, how the journey will go. Today, I drove in a little taxi through the wild streets of the city with Leeli and Lucy to return to a monastery where Leeli has just completed a ten-day retreat and unfortunately left her camera battery. We soaked in the sayings of the Buddha and Dalai Lama, the red uniforms and cloaks of the Nepalese monks and students, and gazed out at Kathmandu from one of the city's hilltops. The Hotel Tibet is very accomodating, and I am pleased to be here after such a long and slightly dirty trip. This afternoon I strolled the streets and shops with Leeli and Lucy, had some pizza, and luckily didn't have ANY money with which I could have wasted immediately, considering all the wonderful things in sight. Tapestries are selling for $1.50. No joke. The 2 hours that taxi waited for us and drove tallied to only about 15 dollars. I am comparing to NYC here, people, and I think we all know that the pre-charge in the city is about half our going rate today.

There is vast poverty. Cell phones fly around, but the cars are all scratched up and the streets are very dirty. All of the fashions range from chic Indian saris to jeans, sweatpants, or hijabs that cover hands and face, the eyes given a veil with which to see. There are many tourist/mountaineering types here. I hear much German and French, and accents of Brits. This is no Everest season, but I can't help but wonder where and why in the world all these people have come to this remote valley. The Dalai Lama is everywhere, and I remember his lecture at Rutgers vividly last spring. He says, whether you have a religion or not, whether you believe in Rebirth or not, no one will disagree with compassion and kindness. I am glad I have come. Tomorrow we tour the three great temples of the city, Saturday we fly to Lukla and trek for 13 days around the region. Then back to Kathmandu for 2, and finally to Bahrain, London, and Newark. Tonight I am seeing LV '06 grad Claire Tyree for dinner and music! Small world. Lovely repurcussions.

This may be the last word on Nepal for a few. I have many thoughts and observations, and I wish I had the time and energy to share them with you all. I seem to have missed a night of sleep somewhere along the way.

Namaste!

Dealing with Ambiguity

Well, my time in NJ is coming to a close. Cheley reunion time is just around the corner, and then it's off to Nepal a week from Tuesday. I am seriously grateful for the time that I've been granted these last two weeks - a real blessing of rest and restoration. I feel, in many ways, very unmotivated right now. I can't seem to do more than go on long runs, eat, sleep, occasionally visit/talk with a good friend or two, and read a good book or eight. It's a funny balance between getting peace in your heart and feeling slothful.

With Nepal around the corner, life seems to take some sort of imminent form, with obligations and such, but my boundaries concerning my personal world are seeming to crumble as I move (or retreat) with time from the L'ville world of black, white, and just enough gray to pretend to not be a bubble for teenagers.

Perry is home for the weekend, and Dad took the three of us to "The Departed" after a quick stint through a darling gaggle of (gasp!) Stephens juniors and random pizza joint. As she struggles with decisions regarding college, I am looking back with great frustration on the poor behalf of all high school seniors. Poor kids. There is nothing you can do! You're stuck in this terrible trap of pressure, confusion, and no sleep. Unless you're LeBron. He got off easy, I suppose. The whole college process needs to reinvent itself in the name of sanity, physical health (no joke), and integrity.

I've been into NYC three times this last week - saw Rent, visited Hard Rock (such a tourist trap), saw Bennett and Thomas (who is really no Tom), and heard Marcus Borg lecture at Union Seminary with Mother. Hearing speakers like Borg always reaffirm the fact that I am glad to be, and honestly am a Christian. It is so easy to sideline my faith for an easier form of televangelistic self-centered worship, and make it a cookie cutter saved situation. But in the great tradition of handling an intellectual faith, scholars like Borg, McLaren; thinkers like Don Miller - all ground me in what my heart and mind agree is most certainly Truth. I need to investigate this "Jesus Seminar" more thoroughly. I love New York. A million things to do, and a hundred million identities to choose from.

Where I am GOING. Everywhere, nowhere.

It's Hard to Say "No"

Well, I’m home. The Long Trail has been cut short for this one. Some of the hardest physical and emotional few days of my life are over. After four days of backpacking in Vermont, I had to call it quits. It was complicated, but essentially came down to blisters, exhaustion, lack of mental energy, unceasing nausea, and a general state of poor well-being. I came off the trail with two lawyers from "Southie" Boston we’d been sharing a shelter with for two nights, and one of the lawyer’s father-in-law (a trail maintenance worker in the Northern Frontier) took me to my car next to the Canadian border. I won’t lie and say that I’m happy because I made the right personal decision. Saying "I can’t do this" has been somewhat removed from my phraseology, and handling the disappointing consequences of acquiescence to my physical needs just... stinks. Like everything in my unpacked pack.

Why? Why couldn’t I handle it?? I keep tossing it over and over in my mind. Many factors involved, but mostly a pack that was probably half my body weight, and too much mileage in the beginning. I think I pushed myself into a very strenuous physical place, and my body (despite many hours of sleep each night) just couldn’t recover. I could make a long list of everywhere I hurt right now, but I’ll spare you all my complaints. Mostly I just hurt that I couldn’t do what I set out to do. I love love love hiking, and I hate that that love was taken away from me on this hike. I couldn’t read my book, write, or enjoy nature. It was all about moving and I just can’t do that right now. I didn’t take a year off to "keep moving." I took it to get away from the treadmill and learn about myself. And yes, I really did this last week. I'm going to get this hike done this year, just not that way.

I’m grateful, really grateful to be here, now, in Vermont, sitting in the comforts of this cabin, looking out at our hill changing colors, and knowing I can work toward some form of peace here. The Long Trail can be done by this girl, I know it. I just need to approach it very differently. I needed more time, less weight. Perhaps a summer project. The tight timetable is really impossible for my body’s limitations, and I knew Elise (go Elise go - in Eden now) could make it. She is trekking onward and forth, as I will be in the cabin trying to regroup. The constraints placed on this trip - my time in G-boro, the trip to Nepal, Elise’s job, winter season - have made it a tight and inflexible. I think the trail will be something of a section hike journey for me.

Thanks to everyone for being very supportive as I made this decision to get off the Trail for now, especially M&D, G&G, Le and Perry. I love you so much.

Alice