Nantahala!!

Hey all! Here I am in Bryson City just catchin up on internet, et c. Wow... what an amazing last couple of days. The trail just gets more and more gorgeous. From Albert Mountain to last night's sunset under the Wasser Bald firetower to the Nantahala River...I feel like I'm growing and growing out here, like I wouldn't be anywhere else! We've definitely caught up with some of the NOBO community. Lots of characters out here.
Juniper and I are making great headway - we somehow ended up doing a 20-miler two days ago (Hawk and I hitched into Franklin mid-afternoon, got a milkshake - met Little Moon who worked at McD's who gave us candied walnuts!! - and got back on the trail :0), and I accidentally did 17 yesterday after I couldn't find Juniper's tent on Copper Ridge Bald, and somehow ended up at Tellico Gap. But I did get to meet a Yoyo'er named WMD (Weapon of Mouse Destruction) who carried mousetraps. Cracked me up! My body feels great and alive. No pains or aches really, aside from some sore feetsies. Also, I wished I had gone to the Scottish Tartans Museum in Franklin! Mom and Grams, its a date!
Delicious trail magic at the Wesser Bald shelter this morning! Yum! We're here with Osprey who will hang with us until at least Fontana. He is such a gearhead! Then to the Smokies! We're really crusing, and speaking for myself, I feel just great. The only frustration right now is that I haven't been very warm at night, so I bought a silk liner for my bag (half the weight, twice the warmth of a coolmax). Hopefully that will help a lot. I'm forcing myself to eat as well... the weight is falling off! One day at a time.
Walking by faith, not by sight. I feel free out here.

Hiawassee on 2/23

Made it to Hiawassee safe and sound. Juniper and I have picked up a third NOBO'er named Dan (we dubbed him Salamander). I've reverted to calling Juniper J and Salamander Sal. Trying to be ultralite! Coming to the Bpatch was a great decision - I am getting the faithful conversations I need for motivation. What an incredible couple.
I am officially clean and now in the public library. The last three days from Neels have been great... we went Neels-Low Gap-Tray Mtn-Hiawassee. I have become an extremely hungry young woman. Out of Neels we had a "pack shakedown" by a very nice man-Alpine-who could only get rid of a deoderant from my pack! I was pretty proud of myself. Juniper had to get new boots, however, so we left at about 12:15. About a mile out of Walasi-Yi, feeling refreshed and glad to be back on the trail, we met two SOBO's who were only 2 more hiking days away from their completed trip! Iceman and Tundra Wookie looked like warriors, and were incredibly kind for our brief interchange. Meeting them was so motivating - it was strange, I didn't want to be finishing, because I haven't had the journey, but I prayed fiercely that I will have the opportunity to finish what I've started. As two end, many others begin. I have to own my journey... got a long way to go. Carolina here we come!
The last two days I've been jumping out of my sleeping bag and walking alone with the Lord for the morning hours, just singing along the trail, praying, and being. Today I was really involved in "Country Roads" and two Emory guys came around the corner. Whoops! Dang summer camp... I can barely separate walking and singin! My body's holding up pretty well. My right knee is pretty darn sore, and my right achilles tendon is also a bit swollen. But nothing (I pray) that will stop me from hitting the NOC! Tomorrow we are taking a "pseudo-zero" day - less than 5 miles to our next shelter to let our bodies recover from the shock of the initial week.
"Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift the burden of my fellow man, and realization of the privelege that is mine, so I may rely on You with the simple faith of a child."

Neels Gap

Hello friends!

This is Alice checking in from the Blairsville Public Library. Juniper and I just came from an "all you can eat" pizza buffet at Papa Joe's two blocks away. Alpine at Walasi-Yi let us take the crazy beat up green hiker van to town for a run. Wow! Neels Gap. Swwweet. The trail's first major stop. We did it!

I'm having such a good time. The mountains are incredible and the air is super crisp. On the first day walk from Amicalola to Springer I stopped for a water break and noticed that the red thorny stems all around me, the blue mountains, and white (looming snow!) sky were extremely "red, white, and blue." This walk is American to the core. The only miserable thing so far has been the mice at the shelters. They make me extremely paranoid and I have trouble sleeping as they scuffle around my head. Yikes! I'm having a hard time turning this problem into a spritual matter.

Blood mountain this morning was actually not as bad as I had imagined. J and I are in pretty good shape - biggest problems yet = sore knees/feet (given) and J's blister (ew!). My metabolism is taking it up a notch literally every day! Last night at Woods Hole (BEWARE it is .4 off trail) I managed to eat a whole Lipton dinner! If you know me, you'd know that was a big deal. ;0)

We haven't met a single thru-hiker yet, and hope to have the community catch up or us catch them one of these days. According to the WYi NOBO book, there are 39 people in front of us. There is a sign here at Mtn Crossings that says: "Welcome Thru-hikers: YOUR JOURNEY HAS BEGUN." That pretty much summed up how I feel! Begun! My body is holding up remarkably well. I overpacked food, but that's about it.

All day we hear no sounds except perhaps a passing plane or day hikers walking through. The first I don't mind: heck! I'm a private pilot! I l-o-v-e planes. secondly, I also love passing people. IE this morning, three very handsome rangers passed us on top of Blood. I took a giggly picture. For grandpa, of course...

Mostly my thoughts revolve around just pure gratefulness. I feel like such a guest on these hills, privileged everyday. How lucky am I to be walking so purposefully! I often feel largely unworthy of these mountains, not physically, but just by being a person. Amazing that God knows us so well, loves us so much that he cares for us more than the sparrows, the lilies. My mentor in high school told me once that the greatest problem some spiritual people she knew faced were not the chains of addiction, violence, or self-destruction, but the inability, the stubborness, to accept the grace of God. I long for these ancient mountains to sink into me, allow myself to feel like the part of creation that I am.

Whenever there is a hard hill, I just stop. Breathe. Look around- and that so far has always been enough motivation to keep my spirits high and feet moving. Sometimes if I get negative going uphill, I look down and see my feet are still movin and tell myself to stop being so hard on myself! Juniper is much faster than I, but I lead in the AM, she in the PM. She'll bound off and wait as I plod along in God's glory. Hike your own hike? We're making a good team. What a way to understand the metaphor of life's mountains - to walk them! I'm glad to be clean and fed today. Georgia will be over all too soon. For my first time in this state, it's really been a pleasure. The trail is really unfolding to us... two nights away to Hiawassee. Then a couple more to NOC. Craziness.

It is strange that in these hills of peace that one could imagine not being medatative. One thing that I have learned is that no matter where you are in the world, you STILL must be deliberate about giving space to God. Even after 4 days, I can see myself getting into a routine - wake up, eat, pack, hike, eat, drink, joke, look around, enjoy, hike, shelter, eat, bear bag, sleep... We must make the space.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the true beginning of Lent. I can't think of a better way to prepare for Easter than to be out here, simplifying my life and getting read to walk to road to Golgatha this annum.

"Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground." -Rumi

Livin in Love.

Almost There

I spent the day with friends in NYC, and boy is the weather crazy up here! Lots of snow, and freezing weather. I wore my salomon's and they hold up incredibly well in snow/slush. Tomorrow is my final day at home. I'll run around a bit to the drug store for a small toothpaste, make sure everythin is together.

I feel quiet... I'm prepared for this journey, but I am really feeling the weight of leaving these comforts, these loving faces around me. A serious time. My heart is heavy. "Give me singleness of purpose..."

Being Still, and Knowing.

I've spent a lot of time thinking lately about how I've been launched into the present - the real world of the word. Where people bend and choose moralities, where success is less of an equation, and more of a question - what are you going to do with your life? Are you going to pick up extra tables? Will you work for pennies? Or are you waiting for twenties to fall into your lap? What was so different about the way I viewed the world at Lawrenceville? I still believe in my values, ideals, and my faith, still growing in ideas, academics, and friendships. What feels so fresh about the world lately?

I just have a very new sense of reality. It's pretty crazy how little I knew about people all around me - I didn't need to travel to learn that the spirit Christ left with us doesn't need to be impressed. I didn't need to see exotic things to learn that the world turns on love and love alone, that love governs the physics of space and time, that love dominates the thoughts and hearts of any person on Earth, no matter how twisted, ugly or pure a form.

Experiencing, glimpsing adulthood this year is shocking at times. The idea that people actually believe that I could be married, have a child seemed absurd to me... but now that I have placed myself with peers of older situation or who are done with school, high school has shot from 8 months to light-years away. The biggest thing I am concerned with right now is becoming more and more real. More in tune with God's idea of "reality" through experience and experiencin his testaments and miracles in word and life. The struggles of adulthood are less defined as well - what is right and wrong.

The world is such a very large place - my mind runs circles between studies and cultures that I long to explore. The more I learn, travel, serve, and grow, the smaller I become. For some reason, this makes me feel incredibly light - a feather, ballerina in God's plan for this crazy-huge universe. What a relief I've discovered this year, that I can do anything, but not EVERYTHING. Grams and I talked about this idea a lot in North Carolina. If my heart soars to the skies, then I should follow that passion and fly. If my mind takes joy in the glory of the human condition replicating God's image through classics, I should follow that joy, be surprised by it continually in a serious academic program. If my body longs to be in motion, then I should head to the hills.

Working has made me more independent than I have been before - I understand that word 'independence' in a whole new way as well. Watching older peers try and exert themselves into true careers and independence from the service industry proves that independence must be tempered at a young age - without parents proper, kids so easily think of independence as quick cash, and adult decisions about their bodies and minds. Independence, really, is being able to set up a foundation of mind, body and spirit, so that you can fulfill God's true purpose for your life. To educate yourself so you know what you love, so you can free yourself to truly run the experience of your life. To be independent from the obstacles that lacking self-awareness presents. (Sorry for all these infinitive clauses. Tacky.)

I want so much to be independent. Winberies has motivated me even more than ever to work diligently at Yale, and for better reasons than the treadmill ever presented. God's glory, self-fufillment, love, independence, the joy of lifting another's burdens - these reasons are becoming so real this year, so much more than the rhetoric I throw around so often. I find myself drawn into silence, into reflection, into pausing, so much more. How can I be more me? How can I be more the person God created me to be? Accepting the humbling fact that the Spirit will never stop coming to me, no matter how great or pathetic I may be, has freed me these last months. The bridge that Jesus created between the misled, the unperfected us, and the incredulity who is the laws of life has allowed me to be here, be still and know.

Beauty for ashes - out of one comes the other. For the beauty of creation, I will be ashes on a lot of the trail. By taking my roles as ashes with responsibility, I allow myself to become beautiful. "I delight myself in the richest of pearls - trading all that I have for all that is better... a garment of praise for my happiness. You are the greatest of riches of faith. Take this heart of stone, and make it yours."(Shane Barnard). Will I have the strength to rise up, rise up. There is so much time to know this answer. Sometimes the answer will be yes! YES! and sometimes. No no no.

I was listening to Star 99.1 FM the other day, and a song came on - the lyrics saying - "Would you take the place of this man? Would take the nails from his hand?" And I was struck - no I would not. Not for the sake of the world, but for the humiliating fact that striking nails through my hands and feet terrifies me. A spear, a crown of thorns. The pain overwhelms my logical sense of my body... what strength to rise again from that. Jesus took three days to rise, three days overcoming death - in whatever world he was in, he took three days to be the Word, the word became flesh, flesh became word for three, word became flesh ascended. Will my flesh withstand this journey? Will I be reduced to word? To Spirit? The light of the world stepped down into darkness... open my eyes let me see beauty that made this heart adore you.

As my thoughts probably show, I am in many different places- I am going from peaceful to anxious lately. My bags are packed, I'm ready to go.

On the verge of the Appalachian Trail, my heart is fluttering with ideas of situations and gear questions that have yet to reveal themselves. More and more things keep appearing to make this trip fall into God's will - my brother coming out instead of Costa Rica, my newly active parents, the trail community. Still prayin' on. As the psalmist wrote:


ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME

Retired, Thank You

Well, I'm officially all done at Winberies Restaurant and Bar for the time being. After making over 2000 dollars, I am done with debt, done with work, ready for my next adventure. Life is really good, and full of anticipation! Heading to Atlanta in less than 3 days. Yes!

Trail Journals

Hey all - I'm leaving on Friday for the AT. The following are my entries from my Trail Journal. - they describe pretty well what I'm feeling lately.

feb 10

Exactly one week from today I will be fast asleep in the Springer Mtn Shelter! One week! What more can I say right now... After my last Saturday at the restaurant, I am exhausted but thrilled at what the future holds.

Dad and I walked to the grocery store today (me in all my backpacking gear), testing out my trail shoes - solomons. After 3 miles today, plus a run and hike yesterday, they still feel great! More testing to come in the next few, but I'm pretty happy with them. The Masai montrails just weren't going to last. Sigh. I really loved those runners... A little more on my gear - I am starting out with about 5 pounds of food (mostly lipton dinners and some form of chocolate or mac/cheese), 3/4 thermarest, wonderful sleeping bag, a msr pocket rocket stove, crocs, solomon trail runners, winter clothes (more detail later), and other necessities - mostly tinies not worth mentioning. Bookwise: journal, bible, wingfoot's thru-hikers companion, and probably 'Endurance', which I'm in the middle of reading. Brining iPod Nano and an FM tuner. About 24 pounds altogether! Weather.com says I should make at least the first few days of my trip without freezing to death! Some blogs are up discussing how darn cold it is! What won't kill us makes us stronger? :0)

Gotta hit the hay. Who am I kidding? I can't sleep!

Alleycat

Live in love.

Feb 9

Another day floats by... tables turn, dishes served, apron on, apron off. Tidbit: Tony Shalhoub came and ate at my restaurant yesterday! The Monk writers back in today. How quirky. Everyday I grow in the knowledge that the trail is where I'm supposed to be right now... but even still, lately I am very careful where I walk, lest I sprain an ankle!

I thought today of what it meant to take another step, what my journey meant in the scheme of life. Five to six months when I'm 25 will seem like a flash. This past fall I spent some time in the mystery that is Nepal, and my thoughts drift back constantly to the incredible people, hills, and lifestyle I saw there. To me, my greatest challenge will be to walk forward with 25 pounds. It will be full of obstacles, and I will struggle on some level constantly. Have you ever seen a porter walking 20 miles in a day with 100 lbs. of meat on his back? Sometimes I'm scared by how blessed so many of us are. Am I actually living a life that is human, or am I just pretending?

Everyone's lives present different physical, emotional, and mental challenges we must each overcome. We must live the hand that is dealt to us, that calls to us. In the presence of permanent small agonies, I pray for the mindset of perspective and empowerment. Make no mistake, me, this trip is your choice. Accepting responsibility... wow... can I handle it?? Everything I am resounds - yes. It is time.

Sponsorship is something I have carefully set up for myself. My sister, my best friends... they have strict orders to say what I need to hear to take the next step, take this journey in bits. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by this whole sheer mass of trail. Tonight my sister noted - Magellen sailed the whole world port by port. (How did my baby sis get so wise??) I must think in these terms. First, the approach trail. Check, I will say. Then to Neel's. Check, again I'll say. And slowly pennies will add up into bills. Peace...

-The Alleycat

Live in love.

feb 8

A week from today will be my last day at work waitressing. I must remember the monotony of work when my mind wanders to the 'comforts' of home. Mr. Happy says today was a bit warm on the trail! Hoorah. 10-day countdown!! Anything will seem warm to this biting NJ weather.

I unpacked and redid my backpack today. I have a great new Atmos 50, and everything fits! Success! My winter gear/food/water/gas included I weigh 25 lbs. Base weight: 15. I'm wary of the household scale, however, and may take my pack to UPS tomorrow. I think I could shed a few (2-3)pounds, but I am not too worried. I'm going to repackage some canned goods, but other than that, I'm pretty OK. I am so sure that I am over/underpacking certain things. The trail will let me know after a few days.

I am as ready as I can be. I am ready. I've put on about 7 pounds, have been working out as much as the double-shift schedule and my serious bedhead will allow, and have spent great time in prayer. Financially speaking, I would greatly benefit from another month of working, but college stands strong as a firm September deadline. Must get to New Haven on time! Hiker boxes here we come :0).

The Alleycat

Live in love.

feb 7

Time is slipping into the future up here in rural Jersey. My 10 day countdown to the trail has begun, and I am anxiously awake (again), running many details of my trip through my mind - wingfoot mileage, food calories, shoes, etc - that have, as I stumble across them, been already very thought out. Sigh - I am in a strange place of - will it ever come? and it's coming so quickly!

Welcome to my journal! My name is Alice, and I am a (newly) 19-year-old high school graduate who has elected to take this gap year out of boarding school before college to recharge my batteries and follow some dreams. I can't even describe how much I've learned this year about myself, people, and the world. My sense of life - it's beauty and fragility - has been utterly warped, and as the AT smiles around the next bend, I am thrilled, nervous, and open to experience whatever it has to teach me. I am flying down to Atlanta next Friday, and beginning the great journey toward home on the 17th of February.

A thru-hiker wrote once - everyone on the trail is looking for something. While I am not entirely sure where my motivations stem from, I am sure that I am being called right now to Georgia, and that things will be revealed with each footstep closer to five million strides complete. My parents are apprehensive, my friends are excited and sad to say goodbye, and I am on some crazy brink of epiphany and excitement that I have trouble going to sleep! These journals have given me great hope for and knowledge of what is to come... I hope to add my own little drop in the bucket with my own thoughts, worries, and joys. God will always provide mercy and strength as we need it - I pray for the determination and protection to complete this journey, for the fellowship of the trail, and the understanding it will take to push forward, push deeper into the heart of the creation. -The Alleycat

Live in love.

So Cold

It bites here. The cold bites your cheeks, your exposed skin, freezes what's under your clothing and keeps you that way until you finally manage to reheat... and then go out into the cold again. Work tonight was terrible. I made 14 bucks off of my one and only table of the evening. No one is going out in this weather. Then I lost a glove - ones I bought for the trail - and got supremely frustrated and had to drive back to Summit to get it. I wasn't going to let it go!!

I did have a great midday with Mr. Silver and seeing the Beckers. I am so grateful for all of those relationships. Little Penny Becker is so adorable! I was telling AJ about how I think my biological clock is ticking. Everytime I see a child I want to squeal and hold it forever! I had better wait on that one... :0)

The trail is creeping up on me. The cold here frightens me. I am not ready to handle sub-20 temperatures. Brrrr.... can't wait to walk into springtime. I'm a bit worried about expenses, but I believe that God will provide. Another debt will surely be created, but hey! There's always Winberies to come back to...

Two Weeks Notice

One debt almost repaid, another large debt about to tumble into existence. Here we come, Atlanta! Flying in on the the 16th, starting February 17th, 2007. The power of prayer...

Today I went to a new church - Renaissance. They had a modern worship band (many kids my age - awesome!), and a good vibe. Not too agressive, not too passive. The pastor, Rich Teeter, gave a "message" - not a sermon(?) - on 1 Corinthians 9:26... about running the race of life with purpose. He tended to interrupt himself often, which made me giggle. So many people do not have purpose or vision to their lives. I certainly don't know my purpose ten years down the road, but I do know that I am supposed to do this AT (to learn whatever it is am I to learn), and to go to school. Self-aware.

I was singing some of the songs in chuch today and I realized for a moment how much I am more myself from this year. I have lost a lot of insecurities and I feel very comfortbale with who I am. I really feel relaxed, my opinions and thoughts come from real creativity and not some forced thought process that exhausts me beyond belief.

My faith feels so strong. Deeper than ever... I have grown in what it means to be a human, an adult, and my faith was triggered today. I believe I'm developing the spiritual muscle (to use Mr. Becker's words) I was hoping for - I felt like I was bursting with the presence of Christ, bursting with his unimaginable love and redemption. My best friend, just chilling with me... Jesus knows me so well. I spent some time in the Library this week reading about Mother Theresa, who called everyone Jesus in a distressing disguise... I'd love to share some her thoughts with you all.

She writes, "Never let any pain or sorrow make you forget the joy of Christ risen." No matter what we go through, we will always know that Jesus is there, at the end, rising from the dead. If I die, I will rise. Nothing is so bad... death? Pain? to make you forget the true joy of this life - the joy of redemption. ANd Mother T. has seen some awful things. One of the Superbowl coaches (learned this from Rich's message) had a son that died in 2005. One of his friends said to him - would you rather him be on Earth than in Heaven?" Something beautiful to think about.

Sarah Thomas and I discussed life and death at Macaroni Grill the other night. How much I love her!! We can both die (not to be morbid) knowing that we lived so well. What a beautiful friendship. Mother Theresa talked about the core of love at every faith. She did this to appeal to peace, to refrain many in power from abusing violence to solve problems. Her words did not make her a pluralist - her words were the Spirit, words of peace that have truly known Christ on the cross. She said, "Suffering is a gift." The great nun believed that to suffer was to have received a gift from God, a gift that could truly be reconciled with her ideas of the cosmos. To suffer is a gift that allows us to understand other human beings more beautifully - "don't waste it!" she says. By suffering we know pain, and we know how important is to try and relieve or even just lighten the sufferings of others. My mind wanders back to the lepers I saw in Nepal, or the disabled I saw today at Runnell's hospital while dropping off flowers with Mom. How crucial it is to love one another! to let eachother know that we see the light within them. I am reminded of a great Chris Rice song:

There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold,
There is a Spirit, who brings a fire,
Ignites the candle and makes his home.

Carry your candle, run to the darkness,
Seek out the helpless, the tired and worn,
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle - Go light your world.

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried
To light his own candle some other way.
See now your sister - she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame.

Carry your candle, run to the darkness,
Seek out the helpless, the tired and worn,
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle - Go light your world.

Everyday at Winberies, Miss Denise comes in for one (or two!) Irish coffee. She lives in the home down the street for elderly folks, is about a 75 year old Afro-American who loves to talk it up with the servers. How long I wonder must I wait for some things? We all wonder this often. Miss Denise, from AME Zion (Not CME or AME I am often reminded), speaks of the Israelites. In exile for many years! For generations ! Surely I can wait. Surely the power of prayer will deliver those broken or without hope whom I love. Just give it time and love, Alice. Give it up to the creator.

My trail name, by the way, is Alleycat. Sometimes it has a "the", sometimes it don't. I've been reading the trail journals of two current thru-hikers named Mr. Happy and Zero. They began in Jan and seem to be moving along nicely. How crazy to think that I will be out there soon! I can't wait! Please pray for my body, that it will grow in strength, and that it should be protected from harm. Please pray for strength of mind and strength of spirit, that I should grow in my love of the Lord, and find peace and purpose in his awe-some creation.

Two weeks notice - check. Ticket - check. Gear - check. Friends - check. Family - on board. God? - triple check. Me - deep breath. Let's do this.

La heime!

Alleycat